we made out on top of his cat.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
