I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
