people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
