how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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