Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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