Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
