"it" just moved
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
