every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
