shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
