he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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