he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
