Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
