YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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