She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
