So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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