His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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