god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
