Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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