He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
