to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
