You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
