Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
