Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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