...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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