I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
