Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We have started to decorate penises.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
