He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
