Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
