no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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