dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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