Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
