Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
