I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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