I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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