hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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