Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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