I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
