u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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