At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
