I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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