its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
