Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
