you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
