the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
