Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
grandma shit on top of the toilet
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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