HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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