Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
