I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
