using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
