ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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