Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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